Down 29 pounds! (Day 87)

I feel like these two pounds this past week are a real gift. Thank you, Lord. There was a couple of stressful days this past week that had me feeding my face without thinking first ... my old reaction to stress resurfacing. Remember that dish of chocolate that my co worker keeps on her desk ... the one that I hadn't been in for a couple months now? Well ... I visited it about three times this week in addition to indulging in some chips and some cookies. Now chocolate, chips and cookies in and of themselves are not necessarily bad. I am learning that everything in moderation is OK. And while I did apply the principle of moderation, I just applied it too many times in one day ... Hershey's kisses, cookies and chips all in one day ... so I skipped dinner. Not something I recommend.

Plus I went out to lunch with family after church last Sunday, out to dinner with my daughter on Monday, out to lunch with co workers on Wednesday. I did continue my exercising and on Monday my daughter and I did a lot of walking in San Francisco. Anyway ... I didn't really expect a loss, so I do feel blessed. And we had an awesome time in San Francisco just doing the tourist thing. Then went out to dinner at Cha Cha Cha on Mission Street. The food was absolutely wonderful. It felt good to just eat like a regular person and not count calories or fat.

And then lastnight the feeling struck ... I wanted something sweet so bad and there's nothing in my house to quench a sweet tooth except apples. Not exactly what I was thinking about, though I didn't know what I wanted so I went to the store at 9:30 PM to try to satisfy my craving. I roamed the bakery aisle and saw some cinnamon rolls and they were marked down by $1.00. Oh my goodness ... a double threat ... something soft and sweet and a sale price! But I just couldn't bring myself to put them in my cart. Then I went past the Hostess goodies ... 10 for $10.00! Only $1 each ... oh my how I love those 6-packs of mini crumb donuts ... almost as much as I love the snowballs ... also only $1. Oh geez ... I hesitated and picked up a pack but ... I couldn't do it. I put it back down.

Then I strode down the cookie/candy aisle. I checked out the Flaky Flix ... one of my past favorites ... but partially hydrogenated oils now made them unattractive ... as well as the Mother's Circus Animal Cookies ... I used to love those little pink and white frosted animals with the rainbow sprinkles.

So off to the freezer section I went. Ice cream never disappoints ... right? I thought I could just get one of those mini Ben and Jerry's. That wouldn't be too bad, right?! But I went past the B & J and picked up the Skinny Cow ice cream sandwiches. Just 140 calories each and only 20 calories from fat. I had a winner. I put them in my cart and proceeded toward the checkout line when I heard that small voice inside me saying, "Be real Jen ... there's no way you're gonna take that whole pack home and eat only one ... Sure they're only 140 calories ... each ... but multiply that by at least 3 or 4 and that's the damage you're going to do in one sitting if you bring them home ... " So I turned around and put them back. I wondered what the heck was wrong with me ... I couldn't even bring myself to purchase a little pack of donuts or one mini B & J to satisfy my craving.

It was then that I realized that there was nothing wrong with me and that there was nothing in that store that would satisfy me. I was exercising self control ... for whatever reasons I gave myself. ... I was exercising self control. Wow ... funny feeling ... powerful feeling to be in a "food frenzy" and actually be able to reel in my emotions and regain control. Yes ... greater is He who is in me than he who is in the ice cream/bakery/candy aisle.

Resigning myself to an apple when I got home, I left. As I walked across the parking lot toward my car another realization hit me ... I wasn't even hungry. Go figure.