11:00 AM
This is turning out to be a very difficult day. I am in so much pain it is almost unbearable. I suppose if it was totally unbearable, I could possibly pass out from the pain ... that may be something to look forward to. I've taken a muscle relaxant and the vicodin is calling my name. I'll give it a little more time before I decide to give in. If I take a pain pill on top of the muscle relaxant, which was on top of the anti-inflammatory I already take daily, I can just kiss the day goodbye ... stick a fork in me and call me done.
I didn't post yesterday because I was in much pain lastnight and not feeling well after work. Lasnight it was my legs ... today it's my neck. I'm a wreck (rhyme not intended). This is prime territory for a binge ... for trying to seek some soft, yummy, fat-laden, sugar-filled food opiate to throw myself into and just wallow away the day.
I just have to tell myself that no food tastes as good as healthy feels. Of course, I'm not sure that I even know what healthy feels like ... I'm sure not feeling it now. Though I may be healthier than I was 10 days ago, this still, really sucks. And it may suck for awhile. I have gotten myself into a real hole here by the way I have ravaged my body all these many years. No one to blame but myself ... and I do. But God's word speaks to me, "There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus." (Romans 8:1)
Yes, my sins have all been forgiven ... even the gluttony (ouch!) which has brought me to this place. But I still suffer with the consequences that are not so easily erased. And, so, I shall hold on to the promise that He shall complete the good work He has started in me. (Philippians 3:6) This will be my comfort food today ... the living, breathing word of God.
I didn't post yesterday because I was in much pain lastnight and not feeling well after work. Lasnight it was my legs ... today it's my neck. I'm a wreck (rhyme not intended). This is prime territory for a binge ... for trying to seek some soft, yummy, fat-laden, sugar-filled food opiate to throw myself into and just wallow away the day.
I just have to tell myself that no food tastes as good as healthy feels. Of course, I'm not sure that I even know what healthy feels like ... I'm sure not feeling it now. Though I may be healthier than I was 10 days ago, this still, really sucks. And it may suck for awhile. I have gotten myself into a real hole here by the way I have ravaged my body all these many years. No one to blame but myself ... and I do. But God's word speaks to me, "There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus." (Romans 8:1)
Yes, my sins have all been forgiven ... even the gluttony (ouch!) which has brought me to this place. But I still suffer with the consequences that are not so easily erased. And, so, I shall hold on to the promise that He shall complete the good work He has started in me. (Philippians 3:6) This will be my comfort food today ... the living, breathing word of God.
Prayer Closet
I step into my prayer closet
Every morning without fail,
For I need to meet my Father
Where He waits within the veil.
Rewarding me each time I seek Him,
Blessing me beyond compare,
Knowing He is always waiting
In our secret place of prayer.
In this place I fear no judgment,
But with tender love, concern
He waits to bring me warmth and light
When from my sinful ways I turn.
Separated from distractions
It is here that our wills marry;
He reveals Himself to me:
This heart of mine, His sanctuary.
There is no sweeter place on earth,
Blessed with all He has to give;
With my faithful, loving Lord,
My prayer closet is where I live.
Copyright © 2008 by Jennifer Welsh
August 9, 2008
10:00 PM -- Time for Bed
I was able to get through the day without the vicodin ... thank you, Lord. He always gets me through. I just kind of grazed through the day ... snacks here and there ... then had dinner and an evening snack. Total calories for the day about 1200. Here's a graphic showing the breakdown of my nutritional info for the past week. I have averaged 1420 calories a day with 9% of my total calories from fat. That's as good as Dr. Dean Ornish's diet to reverse heart disease. I must be getting healthier!
1 comment:
(((((Jennifer))))))
Blessings to you, sister!
You are such an inspiration! I really appreciate how you share with a wonderful openness and vulnerability. I have wanted to blog for the longest times my struggles.
It's so good to know that our Lord is so close, and intimately knows our aches and needs. He always pulls me up when I start to feel alone in my struggle with losing my vision. There has been so many blessings along the way as I see His hand lifting me to be strong.
I pray for His strength as you journey toward the health our Lord desires for you! Love in Christ, Andrea Pixton
Post a Comment