Going strong! (Day 2)

8 PM and all is well! I finished dinner about an hour ago. I think I'll go to bed about 9 PM and do without an evening snack tonight. I am trying to eat 4-5 small meals each day to help rev my metabolism and keep my blood sugar on an even keel. MyHBA1C is way too high. I've been in denial too long. I lost 60 pounds a few years back, but have now gained back 40. Some would look at my dieting history and say that just proves that I can't do it myself ... I should opt for surgery. I say just the opposite. I've done it before and I will do it again ... by God's grace I will do it again and even better. When and if He tells me to submit to gastric bypass surgery, which I have considered, I'll shall do it. Until then I'm going the same route that gave me results before ... just eating healthy and incorporating exercise. The exercise, however, is still in the planning stage.

Anyway ... the one different thing this time is that I'm going public. Thus, the blog. I'm letting it all hang out. I am going to be painfully real with my struggles and telling all with my triumphs! And I am planning on more of the latter.

The other significant difference is that this time I am endeavoring to focus on God and have this be an exercise or a discipline of bringing my will in line with His in every aspect of my life, not just with food ... paying more attention to the spiritual, rather than the physical. The obvious result will be that I will lose weight, but I am hoping for other, perhaps not so obvious changes. Changes He will bring about as I seek to become more like Christ.

Another fringe benefit, it seems, is that poetry has just been pouring outa me today. I have written 5 poems in the last 24 hours. That beats my record of 4 poems in one day in October 2006! I've included one for you below. I hope you enjoy it.

Before that, though, I have to tell you about my lunch photo (above). It actually was the inspiration for the poem below. A luscious turkey sandwich (yes, with fat free mayo!) with romaine, tomatoes (from my dear husband's garden), red onion and sliced red peppers on whole grain bread with a piece of canteloupe and sliced beets (freshly steamed lastnight and chilled)with honey mustard sauce. Yum!!! Calorie count: somewhere around 350 calories ... if I ate the whole thing, which I didn't. I saved half the sandwich for an afternoon snack.

Hurray for Leftovers!

Today for the first time in I don’t know when
I left some food on my plate;
A huge feat for me, the first of its kind,
An achievement to celebrate.

A whole half a sandwich, I kid you not,
It just sat there whilst I decided
The first half had been quite yummy enough
And my hunger, for now, had subsided.

Hearing my mother’s voice from the past
I admit I was tempted to finish;
All of those starving children ... you've heard it,
Her ploy to make food diminish.

And how stuffing my face could help anyone
She could never quite answer that
Just, “Clean you plate!” is all I remember,
Now, a habit that helped make me fat.

But don’t get me wrong, I’m not blaming mom
Nor do I intend to insult
I, alone, am responsible, now
A consenting, consuming adult.

And, today, I chose to leave food on my plate
And this time will not be the last;
I’m taking charge, now, through the power of God
And breaking free from the past.

Copyright © 2008 by Jennifer Welsh
August 1, 2008