All my life, or as far back as I can remember, I have been afraid of dying. That's a heck of a way to live your life. Now, as a Christian, knowing that my eternity is in the hands of God, and that I'll be spending it with Him, I don't fear being dead ... being absent from the body, because as the Apostle Paul said to be absent from the body is to be present with Christ.
I know I shouldn't, but sometimes I still have some fear of the transition. The not knowing how or when ... no ...that's not it ... it's the thought that it will happen at any time ... like right now. I just finished exercising (For the third day in a row--yeah!) and have these twinges in my chest and a pain between my shoulder blades. But that's nothing new. I have been having chest pains since I was a teenager, perhaps even before that. I remember when I was 24 --and weighed much less --one summer I, my husband and daughter went to Yosemite. I was afraid to walk the one mile from the shuttle to Mirror Lake because I thought I would have a heart attack. I finally realized, recently, that this fear was instilled in me as a child ... when I witnessed my father having a heart attack.
Funny how things that happen to us as children can screw us up for life. No ... not for life ... not anymore! I am sick and tired of living in fear and I will not do it anymore! Do you hear me, devil?! No more. You are outta here. God is my refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble. Therefore I will not fear ... (Psalm 46:1-2)
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